Hi everyone, today we're discussing how to craft high-scoring academic discussion responses. Many test takers find themselves scoring in the medium range, often due to a misunderstanding of what they are asked to do. The TOEFL Academic Discussion question prompts you to "express and support your personal opinion, make a contribution to the discussion in your own words." What does this mean? The instructions mean the following: Express your personal opinion by taking a clear stance on the issue, providing logical reasoning, evidence, or examples to support it. Additionally, contribute to the discussion by offering unique insights, analysis, or counterpoints beyond the initial perspectives offered by the two students in the question. In other words, if you just summarize the students' arguments in the question, or your argument is similar to their arguments, you are not performing the asked task. For this reason, you should minimize template words as much as possible. To illustrate this, let's consider the following template that some students use:
“This is a challenging topic, but I think that [respond directly to the question].
I strongly agree with [student]’s idea that [mention one point made by the student].
I’d add that [expand on the point with your own idea].
While [other student] raised the relevant point that [mention one point made by the other student], he/she didn’t mention that [challenge that point].
For example [elaborate on your challenge with your own ideas].”
Let's apply this template to see if it can help you present your own ideas more fully. For this, let’s say that the question is something like: "Do you agree or disagree with the idea that stricter penalties should be imposed on environmental offenders to protect the planet's future?" and two students in the question, Paul and Claire, offer the following responses. Paul responds yes, arguing that industries polluting waterways and harming the environment should face significant consequences with stricter penalties, and Claire argues no, asserting that stricter penalties will have serious repercussions on the economy. Here is a response using the template:
This is a challenging topic, but I think that stricter penalties for environmental offenders are necessary to protect our planet's future. I strongly agree with Paul’s idea that industries polluting our waterways should face significant consequences. I'd add that imposing stricter penalties can also incentivize companies to invest in cleaner technologies and practices. While Claire raised the relevant point that stricter penalties might have serious repercussions on the economy, she didn’t mention that neglecting environmental protection could lead to even greater economic benefits in the long run. For example, investing in sustainable practices can create new job opportunities and stimulate economic growth while preserving our environment.
The first sentence is unnecessary as any question posed is naturally going to be challenging to answer. Your argument needs to be presented in a stronger manner than "I would add," as this type of phrase minimizes your contribution. Additionally, the concession and refutation structure using "while" sentences does not connect well with the main argument, especially when the response fails to explain why "imposing stricter penalties can also incentivize companies to invest in cleaner technologies and practices." Due to this lack of progression in ideas, this essay will not score highly. On the other hand, consider the following response:
Agreeing with Paul, I strongly believe that imposing stricter penalties on environmental offenders is vital for protecting our planet's future. Paul's point about holding industries accountable for polluting our waterways resonates deeply with me. I think tougher penalties would make companies think twice before harming the environment. When businesses know they'll face serious consequences for their actions, they're more likely to invest in cleaner technologies. The automotive industry, for example. In response to stricter emission standards, many car manufacturers have invested heavily in developing electric and hybrid vehicles, contributing to clearer air. As this example illustrates, investing in cleaner technologies can even boost the economy by creating new jobs and industries. So, by cracking down on environmental offenders, we can create a healthier, more sustainable world and a thriving economy for future generations.
This response is superior to the previous one as it presents a clear stance on the issue (called thesis statement) and provides solid reasoning and evidence to back up the thesis. The moral of the story here is that to receive the maximum score of 5, an essay needs to show depth, sophistication, and control in its focus, development, organization and language use. Essays that score 4 or 3 may have adequate main idea or focus, but may not be as clearly or consistently maintained throughout the essays. They may include passable examples or details, but are not persuasive. Their sentence structure and word choice may lack sophistication or variety, and there may be serious errors in grammar, usage, spelling, or punctuation that impede understanding.
These are the five takeaways when practicing writing TOEFL academic discussion responses:
First, make sure you fully understand the professor's question and respond directly to it. Don't drift off topic or fail to engage with the core issue.
Second, have a clear organization by stating your stance with a clear thesis statement and supporting argument in the body. Conclusion that simply repeats the thesis statement has zero value. But an insightful conclusion can enhance your score.
Third, develop your argument as fully as possible by providing persuasive reasons, relevant examples, and supporting details. Work on depth and substance in your arguments, instead of evaluating the two students’ responses in the question as this is not the task asked.
Fourth, provide credible evidence. Do not make up facts or statistics that are obviously false, like "when I asked my good friend Elon Musk about the motivation to develop electric cars..." Also, do not make claims that critical thinking can show false. For instance, consider these claims: anyone can get rich quickly such as by winning the million dollar Jackpot and watching violent movies directly causes people to commit violent crimes. You must avoid these types of far-fetched, or overly simplistic arguments, and instead focus on developing well-reasoned, evidence-based claims that demonstrate critical thinking.
And finally, fifth, maintain an academic, formal tone. Do not use inappropriate or exaggerated language. Use transitions to connect your ideas logically. Proofread carefully to eliminate any mistakes in grammar, spelling, or punctuation. These can detract from the quality of your writing.
By focusing on developing a well-reasoned, organized, and formally-written academic discussion response, you can maximize your chances of scoring highly on this TOEFL task.