Polite disagreement phrases
When you disagree, you need to do it politely. You should not say something like “Kelly does not understand what she is talking about” or “Kelly’s suggestion is out of the question.” Even saying “Kelly is wrong to say…” could be viewed as too aggressive to some. To minimize offending the person you disagree with, you should try to use one of the following phrases that indicate that you disagree politely:
I don't think Kelly is correct (= right) when she says X.
I don't think Kelly is correct on X.
I have a different opinion from Kelly.
Contrary to Kelly’s claim, I believe that
It (= the problem, solution, method, reason) isn’t as simple as what Kelly presents (= seems to think)
I’m afraid that I have to disagree with Kelly.
I don’t quite agree with Kelly.
I’m not sure (= certain) if Kelly is correct when she says
You then explain why you think Kelly's argument is wrong. And then conclude your response with saying some of these:
This is why Kelly's argument falls apart. (= doesn’t hold water)
This is the reason that Kelly’s argument does not go through.
This is an example essay with disagreement:
I’m afraid that I have to disagree with Kelly. Kelly’s idea is that the environment may be sacrificed for the sake of economic growth since human interests trump all other interests. This idea oversimplifies the complex relationship between the environment and human well-being. Rapid industrialization and urbanization have put the health of the environment at risk. Pollution is everywhere. The air has become unbreathable, the water has become undrinkable and the soil has become contaminated with poisonous elements. Human habitats in many places in the world have been destroyed or are on the verge of being destroyed by global warming, caused by unchecked economic development and accompanying consumerism. So, fine, one could now afford to buy a Gucci or Louis vuitton. But these things cannot make one happy when the air is unbreathable and the water is undrinkable. When the environment is ruined, we cannot live happily. In other words, the wellbeing of the environment is intrinsically intertwined with the wellbeing of humans. So the best way to protect human interests is not to sacrifice the environment, but to protect it.
The most popular and polite way to disagree with someone is to use the method of concession and refutation, which we examine in the next section.
4.6 Concession and refutation
You should have read something like this: “Your handwriting was beautiful. However, the content of your essay wasn’t creative enough to secure an A.'' This example uses a concession and refutation method. The goal for the author is to inform the student that she did not get an A. The author talks about the positive aspect, beautiful handwriting, as a way to mitigate the disappointment the student might have. This positive aspect is the concession part of the method of concession and refutation. In other words, concession means agreeing with your opponent on some point that your opponent makes. Refutation means explaining why your opponent’s view is defective. The claim that the content of the essay wasn’t creative is the refutation part of the method. As you can see, the reason for concession is to win on some bigger points. In this way, when we concede, we are not really acknowledging that our opponents are right, but only in appearance.
To use the concession and refutation method, you first need to think of a reason that explains why you agree with some of your opponent’s points. That is, you cannot just state that your opponent has some valid point since it would seem insincere and formulaic. After providing your reason for agreement, you explain why your opponent’s view is still incorrect. Since you have to find some reason to agree yet still find some stronger reason to disagree, it shows that you have considered your argument from multiple perspectives in order to come to an informed decision. In this way, the concession and refutation method can demonstrate your ability as a thinker and writer
There are many different ways that you can concede and then refute your opponent’s argument. Consider this simplified version. Your claim is that “I want to get a cat,” and your opponent’s claim is that she doesn't want one since she is allergic to cats. To make a concession, you need to think of a reason that explains why you agree with your opponent’s view, and then explain why your opponent’s view is not good enough not to have a cat. Here are some strategies you could use. First, you could point out the flaws in your opponent's argument. For instance, her argument is based on the assumption that she is allergic to all cats. So you can point out that this generalization is faulty. So you could say as follows:
I agree that you are allergic to cats, but there are some breeds of cats that are hypo-allergenic and don't cause people’s allergies to act up.
You could show the other side of the coin that she did not consider. For instance, instead of avoiding an unpleasant situation, by confronting it, one could become more successful, like building character. This is an example in this vein:
It’s true that you are allergic to cats, but you also say that you wish you could have a furry friend. Instead of giving up having a cat because of an allergy, if we have one, it might help you build up your immune system and tolerance to cats.
The following concession and refutation appeals to our moral values:
Granted, you are allergic to cats, but, if we do not adopt the cat at the shelter, it will be killed. While I understand your suffering from the cat allergy, I feel that the cat’s suffering is far greater. Since allergies can be prevented by medication, we should save the life of the cat.
Templates
The method of concession and refutation begins with concession. These are words or phrases for concession:
even though, while, although, granted,
It’s true that…
While it is true that…
Admittedly…
While that may be the case,
And these are words or phrases for refutation:
but, yet, however, nevertheless, still, that said, having said that, but at the same time, all the same
These are sentence examples using “but at the same time” and “all the same.”
It rained every day on our vacation, but we had a good time all the same.
I was afraid of her, but at the same time I really liked her.
These sample responses use the concession and refutation method.
response 1
Granted, there are some merits in the effort-added grading system since it can motivate students who are already struggling in class. When these students work hard and achieve good grades even though their performance may not be as good as some other students’, they will learn the value of hard work, which is a critical factor to succeed in school and profession. Having said that, I still think that it is better for students to receive grades solely based on their performance since under the effort-added grading system, students may not learn that at the end of the day, performance is what people value, not effort. College grades and job promotions are all based on the final results, not the effort one puts in. Additionally, the effort added system can backfire since, for the lack of emphasis on final performance, students might not learn the value of focus, dedication and efficiency on their work. Instead, they might think that, for the sake of effort, long hours at work is all that is needed.
response 2
Andrew brings up a good point. When I study hard for an exam, but don't do well on the exam, I sure wish that my teacher would give me some extra points for my hard work. If I knew that my hard work counts I would study even harder. However, I also know that it is really difficult for the teacher to evaluate how hard I worked for an exam. If my friend says she worked more hours than me, then my teacher might think that she worked harder than me and so she might give her more extra points than me. But I don’t think the number of hours is a good measure of hard work. To me, effort is more related to focus, attention, dedication and working in the flow. All these concepts are difficult to quantify, which means that effort is hard to quantify. And this is where Andrew’s argument falls apart.
response 3
Kelly is right to say that fairness is the key when grading is concerned. She says that giving the same grades to someone whose work is not as good as her is unfair. However, I don’t think this unfairness argument is as simple as what Kelly thinks. Of course, giving the same prize to a less performing athlete in the Olympic games would be unfair. However, school is not an Olympic Game. That is, school is not a level playing field where everyone has an equal chance to succeed. Kelly neglects to notice that children differ in their academic readiness at school. It is a statistically known fact that children from well-to -do families are far more ready to learn at school and perform far better than children from economically marginalized families. Given this unfairness in socioeconomic backgrounds in students, insisting on only the performance seems to be unfair to disadvantaged students. For this reason, her fairness argument against counting effort doesn’t go through.